Waiting at the Well: Finding the right person
I have a soft spot for young single adults, and in some ways, even more so for not-so-young single adults. I was one of them. Every year and every crush I wondered if I had found the right person or if I would ever find the right person. I thought about the prerequisites that a couple had to experience before they “knew” they found the right person. In short, my singlehood was not for a lack of trying.
I was crushed when at 26 a religious authority figure made the comment that anyone 25 and up not married was failing the purpose of life. I was even more distraught when, in that same year, the boy I had been trying to date for a year got engaged to another girl seemingly overnight.
The questions came in droves: why aren’t you married? Don’t you give guys a chance? And my personal favorite, do you think your standards are too high?
To illustrate things, there’s this great story in the bible about Rebekah. Abraham sends his servant to his home country to find Isaac a wife. His servant is overwhelmed and asks the Lord to show him who is to be Isaac’s wife by having a maiden at a well draw water not just for him, but for his camel as well. He gets to the well and finds a maiden there and asks her for a drink. She gives him a drink then straightway responds, “I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking.” Gen 19-20.
It always seemed to me that she had it easy, she wasn’t even trying and BOOM she’s found the right person. Ditto for Isaac….ok ok maybe he WAS in his 40’s but still… In my heart I always wished it would have been this way for me…minus the being 40 part.
To be fair we don’t know much about Rebekah’s love life before this encounter, but still, it seems like things really fell into place for her.
I won’t rehash how I met my husband here, but in summary, we were both at the right place at the right time and truly it was organized by a higher power. Juan and I were engaged 72 hours after our first date, married 4 months later. I will be the first to attest, this is NOT how it happens for everyone. But how fast we got engaged isn’t the point. It’s that we were willing to marry who we were supposed to, regardless of our own preferences or time. Most importantly, we were willing to trust in the Lord, who knew us and had a plan.
Eight months later, as I was steadily swelling with pregnancy and becoming ever so aware of how less attractive I might be, Juan and I attended a philanthropy dinner. I noticed a table away a woman who lacked mobility in her arms due to an accident or some debilitating condition. She was struggling to eat and was dropping some of her food on her lap. Her companion, who I can only assume was her husband, picked up the food and proceeded to feed her the rest of dinner. I received the distinct impression that I married that type of man. I was so touched and realized how perfect the timing and plan really is.
The point I’m getting at is, if you are looking for that right person, don’t let outside pressures influence your choices, and don’t get down on yourself. Follow the Lord. Trust him, his timing and promptings. That choice will always lead to a better life, regardless of what we think we want.
I was crushed when at 26 a religious authority figure made the comment that anyone 25 and up not married was failing the purpose of life. I was even more distraught when, in that same year, the boy I had been trying to date for a year got engaged to another girl seemingly overnight.
The questions came in droves: why aren’t you married? Don’t you give guys a chance? And my personal favorite, do you think your standards are too high?
To illustrate things, there’s this great story in the bible about Rebekah. Abraham sends his servant to his home country to find Isaac a wife. His servant is overwhelmed and asks the Lord to show him who is to be Isaac’s wife by having a maiden at a well draw water not just for him, but for his camel as well. He gets to the well and finds a maiden there and asks her for a drink. She gives him a drink then straightway responds, “I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking.” Gen 19-20.
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| Rebekah at the Well, by Michael Deas. © 1995 IRI. |
It always seemed to me that she had it easy, she wasn’t even trying and BOOM she’s found the right person. Ditto for Isaac….ok ok maybe he WAS in his 40’s but still… In my heart I always wished it would have been this way for me…minus the being 40 part.
To be fair we don’t know much about Rebekah’s love life before this encounter, but still, it seems like things really fell into place for her.
I won’t rehash how I met my husband here, but in summary, we were both at the right place at the right time and truly it was organized by a higher power. Juan and I were engaged 72 hours after our first date, married 4 months later. I will be the first to attest, this is NOT how it happens for everyone. But how fast we got engaged isn’t the point. It’s that we were willing to marry who we were supposed to, regardless of our own preferences or time. Most importantly, we were willing to trust in the Lord, who knew us and had a plan.
Eight months later, as I was steadily swelling with pregnancy and becoming ever so aware of how less attractive I might be, Juan and I attended a philanthropy dinner. I noticed a table away a woman who lacked mobility in her arms due to an accident or some debilitating condition. She was struggling to eat and was dropping some of her food on her lap. Her companion, who I can only assume was her husband, picked up the food and proceeded to feed her the rest of dinner. I received the distinct impression that I married that type of man. I was so touched and realized how perfect the timing and plan really is.
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| First pregnancy picture |
The point I’m getting at is, if you are looking for that right person, don’t let outside pressures influence your choices, and don’t get down on yourself. Follow the Lord. Trust him, his timing and promptings. That choice will always lead to a better life, regardless of what we think we want.
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